


The Way I Do

by Samunderthelights



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Friendship, Friendship/Love, M/M, Male Slash, Relationship(s)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-27
Updated: 2017-05-27
Packaged: 2018-11-05 13:13:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,515
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11014158
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Samunderthelights/pseuds/Samunderthelights
Summary: M/M. (Mention of Freddie a few times).Harry has just played another sold out show. As he is trying to get to the bus to get away from the venue, he notices someone in the shadows. At first he wants to ignore them, but then he realises it's Louis. They haven't spoken to each other in nearly a year. How could they, after everything that has happened?





	The Way I Do

Harry has just played yet another sold out show, and he is now mindlessly unbuttoning his shirt, while stomping through the backstage area, trying to get to the bus as quickly as possible. The bus will take him to the hotel straight away, before most of the people in the audience have even gotten a chance to leave the venue. This way he won’t get stuck at the venue, as has happened before, when he had decided to hang around for a little while longer after a show.  
It has become a ritual by now, so Harry’s mind is somewhere far away, not even focussing on what is happening around him. But just as he is about to get into the bus, he notices someone coming up to him. At first he wants to ignore them, and just get away from here as quickly as possible. But then he snaps out of it, and he realises who the figure in the shadows is.  
“Hi.”  
“Hi,” Louis says, looking nervous.  
“What are you doing here?” Harry asks. He realises how unkind he sounds, but he doesn’t have the energy to apologise. Or perhaps he had meant to sound unkind. Perhaps he is still angry with him.  
“I came to see what all the fuss is about,” Louis says, flashing a small smile. Harry doesn’t return it though. He knows he needs to get away from here, because if he stays here any longer, the fans won’t let him leave.  
“I’ve got to go,” he says, and Louis nods, looking disappointed. “Why don’t you come with me?”  
“Are you sure?” Louis asks, but Harry doesn’t say a word. He simply gets into the bus, takes his shirt off, and throws it onto a seat. Louis enters the bus after him, and before he has even gotten a chance to sit down, the door behind him slams shut, and the bus drives off. He turns to say something to Harry, but he has already gone to the back of the bus. So Louis sits down, and looks out of the window, at the fans, screaming and shouting at the bus. He can’t help but smile, because it reminds him of how things used to be. Back when the band was still together. Thinking back about those times, it makes him feel warm inside. They were the best times of his life, and for just a second, he feels as though he is back there again.

“I love the record,” Louis says, when he and Harry are in Harry’s hotel suite. Neither of them had said another word since getting into the bus, and it had been quite uncomfortable. It still is uncomfortable, because what do you say to someone you haven’t seen in nearly a year. After everything that had happened?  
“Thanks,” Harry says, as he grabs some things out of his suitcase. “I’m going to take a shower, but you can just go ahead and order some food or something,” he says, and he quickly goes go the bathroom. As soon as he has closed the door behind him, he lets himself slide onto the floor, his knees pulled up to his chest. Tonight had been great. The fans had been great, the band had been great, the atmosphere at the show had been great. He had genuinely enjoyed himself. Which, to be honest, most certainly isn’t the case for every single show. Some nights it feels like work, other nights he just feels homesick, but tonight had been great. He had been happy, careless. He had been laughing, smiling, making jokes. But the second he had seen Louis, he had felt anxious, angry. How dare he step back into his life, just like this? Why now?

“I didn’t know what you wanted, so I ordered a pizza,” Louis says, sounding nervous. Harry just nods, as he goes over to his suitcase, to grab a new outfit.  
“How’s Freddie?” Harry asks, as he puts on his jeans. He tries not to look at Louis though, and he gets dressed as slowly as possible, because he is afraid that if he looks at him, he will either break down in tears, or he will start screaming at him.  
“He is great. He’s getting so big now,” Louis says, and although Harry had told himself not to look at him, he can’t help but look up now. He can hear the smile. And when he sees the crinkle by his eyes, he can’t help but return the smile. He knows how much Louis loves his son, and although the situation had hurt him at first, he is now happy for him. Louis grabs his phone from his pocket, and after scrolling through a ton of pictures, he eventually finds the one he wants to show Harry. He comes over to him, and Harry can’t help but smile when he sees the miniature version of Louis.  
“He’ll be bigger than you be the time he’s five,” Harry laughs.  
“I’m not that short,” Louis laughs.  
“Well…,” Harry laughs, and Louis looks up at him. For just a second, he sees the Harry he had met. The boy who had been shorter than him, the curly-haired idiot with plump lips and a cheeky smile, who drew everyone in with his perfect charm.  
“He’s great, he really is,” Louis then says, and he moves away from Harry again, and puts the phone back into his pocket. He goes over to the window, and looks down onto the street. Harry grabs a t-shirt and puts it on, still telling himself not to look at Louis. But he can’t help himself. He looks over, and he can’t help but smile. He remembers all the times they had spent in hotel rooms together, all the nights they had stayed up, talking, watching movies, listening to music, writing songs.  
“Harry…,” Louis then says, and he turns around. But he stops talking when he sees the look in Harry’s eyes.  
“Don’t. Please.”  
“I am sorry. You do know that, right?” Louis asks, but Harry just looks away, down at the floor. “I am.”  
“How’s Eleanor?” Harry then asks, and he looks back up. Louis has a guilty look on his face, but he doesn’t look away.  
“She’s fine.”  
“Is she still your girlfriend?”  
“No,” Louis says, and he sighs. “She never was, and you know that. She’s just a good mate.”  
“Are you sure about that, though?” Harry asks, and Louis can see the anger and hurt in his eyes.  
“We never…,” he says, but then there’s a knock on the door. Harry goes to answer it, and comes back with a tray of food in his hands. He sits it down on the bed, and turns to face Louis again.  
“I trusted you,” he says, trying to stay calm. But he can feel the tears coming, no matter how hard he is trying to fight them.  
“I never meant to hurt you,” Louis says, but he knows that it doesn’t matter. Because he did hurt him.  
“You sent me a goddamned text, Louis,” Harry spits out. “You didn’t even have the decency to tell me in person.”  
“I know…”  
“You have no idea how much that hurt,” Harry says, and he can feel a tear rolling down his face. He quickly wipes it away, hoping that Louis hasn’t seen it. But there is no point, because the tears keep coming. The pain he had tried to keep to himself for so long, it is now finally coming out.

He and Louis had fallen in love during the early days on the X-Factor. It had been a genuine case of ‘love at first sight’. No one had ever thought that the little boy band that had been put together on the show would ever grow into what it would eventually become. So at first the guys had simply acted upon their feelings, and they hadn’t even considered hiding it, or denying it. But as things had grown bigger, and they had become more famous, they had started to realise just what their relationship could do. Harry had seen it as positive thing, because they could be role models, people could look up to them. But Louis had seen it as a negative thing, it had scared him, and made him paranoid. Their relationship could make them lose fans, people could hate them for it, they could become easy targets, people could want to hurt them. So to protect Louis, Harry had agreed to start hiding it. Or at least they would try to. However, the fans had already noticed, and from then on, their every single movement was studied, and turned into evidence. Every word they said would be twisted, every look they shared would be turned into a gif that would be all over the internet. Louis had even asked his friend, Eleanor, to be his ‘girlfriend’, so the fans would back off. But they never had. It had put a lot of strain onto their relationship, especially when Louis had denied their relationship towards the fans, when he had called it ‘bullshit’. But they had pulled through, and they had always stuck together, no matter what.  
But after a few years, Harry had started to notice that Louis was becoming more distant, he had started to pull away. He would leave in the middle of the night and not come back for days. Not once would he explain where he had been. Then one day Harry had gotten a text from him, saying that it was over. Just like that.

“I had to pretend to still be your best mate, to still think you’re a great guy, every single day,” Harry spits out, looking angrier, but mostly more heartbroken, with every single word. “I had to be around you in every goddamned interview, in the studio… I had to sing your words, that you wrote about…”  
“I’m sorry,” Louis says, interrupting him. “I really am. But I can’t change what I did.”  
“Within months, you were set to be dad, you had a girlfriend… Did you ever, for one second, think about me?” Harry asks, his voice breaking. “Did you?”  
“I did,” Louis admits. “I was scared. That’s why I left, because I was scared…”  
“To lose a few fans?” Harry interrupts him. “Who cares?”  
“I was scared of losing you,” Louis admits, but Harry doesn’t say a word. He doesn’t understand. He just wipes his tears away, more tears falling down his face within seconds. “It was getting too serious, too much.”  
“Then you should’ve told me. Not send me a text and leave me,” Harry says. Louis nods, fighting his own tears now. “You have no idea how hard it was to be around you after that.”  
“I know.”  
A silence follows, because Louis doesn’t know what to say. He isn’t going to defend himself. He knows he messed up, and that he can’t take back what he has done. Harry has so much he wants to say, but what is the point?  
“Why are you here?” he eventually asks.  
“I miss you,” Louis admits. “I fucked up, and I hurt you. You didn’t deserve any of that. But I want my friend back.”  
“Lou…,” Harry begins, but Louis interrupts him before he can say another word.  
“I hate myself for what I did, but if I hadn’t, I wouldn’t have had my son, and I love him more than I will ever be able to put into words. But losing you…,” he says, his voice breaking, and he stops for a second, to try and compose himself. “I love you.”  
“Don’t,” Harry says, and he can feel new tears falling from his eyes. Those words, he had been waiting for them for so long. But to hear them, it scares him.  
“I mean it, Harry,” Louis says, and he takes a few steps towards him, and grabs his arm. He slides down his hand, towards Harry’s hand, which is shaking. He intertwines their fingers, and somehow it still feels familiar, safe. Even after everything.  
“I can’t let you hurt me like that again,” Harry says, sounding like a scared child. Hurt. Louis feels sick with guilt, and he has to try really hard to fight his tears.  
“Look at me,” he says, and Harry looks down at him. “I’ve changed. I’ve grown up. After what happened… I’ve changed.”  
“You’re still scared,” Harry says, but Louis shakes his head. “I can’t live my life like that anymore, Louis. Hiding away, living a lie.”  
“Then don’t.”  
“But…”  
“I don’t care anymore,” Louis says. “As long as you’re willing to give me another chance, I’ll do whatever it takes.”

It’s the next night, and Harry is up on the stage again, playing yet another sold out show. Today feels different though. He is nervous, excited. During his first show, he had played a One Direction song, and the people had loved it. So he had continued playing it. But tonight they have something else planned. The band had rehearsed it only a few times, so it makes him feel more nervous than usual. But when he thinks about it, he can’t help but smile.  
“Here is a song that I think some of you might know the words to,” he announces, and a few people shout the title of another song back to him. The song he had performed at his other shows. “Unfortunately not, no,” he laughs. “Tonight we’ve got something else for you. I hope you’ll like it,” he says, realising how nervous he sounds. He quickly drinks some water, and flashes his band mates a nervous look, before taking a deep breath.  
As soon as the music to Fireproof starts playing, it feels as though a weight has been lifted off his shoulders, and he gets the biggest smile on his face. Knowing what is about to happen. Knowing what had been said last night. Knowing what had been done. Getting back together after everything. Spending all night talking about music like they had when they were younger. Waking up next to each other. It just feels right.  
And when the chorus kicks in, and Louis joins him on the stage, the crowd erupts into the loudest cheers either of them have heard in a long time. They both have the biggest smiles on their faces, and not for one second do they stop looking at each other as they sing the song.  
Harry had been so angry, so hurt because of everything that had happened. But seeing the pain in Louis’ eyes last night, seeing how genuinely sorry he was, it made him forgive him. Because there is no point in holding a grudge. If they can have a second chance at their relationship, at love, then they should take it. Their love is too strong to give up on.  
And as Harry watches Louis stand in front of him, singing, smiling, his eyes crinkling, he knows that they will be alright this time.

_“Nobody loves you, baby, the way I do.”_

**Author's Note:**

> I haven't written anything Larry in nearly four years, so I've been a little bit out of it for a while, but I had fun writing this. So hey-ho. Thanks for reading!! xx


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